feelings about my son's food allergy...

Today my son will be going to his first birthday party without one of his parents staying with him and in two weeks he will also be starting kindergarten. This has lead me to a place of immense worry because my son has a severe food allergy. He is allergic to tree nuts. We have to carry an Epi-Pen (an epinephrine injector) where ever he goes.

We found out about his allergy almost three years ago. It hasn't been a great source of worry for me until now. Up until now he has spent 99% of his life in my care, or in close proximity to my care. I know to always look and be aware, I know the severity of his reaction, I know what to do if something happens, I know how serious it is. My worry comes with leaving him in the care of others and not necessarily their knowledge of his allergy but with how seriously they take it. And I also worry about the burden it places on others when they are forced to be aware of my son's allergy.

My parents witnessed Mac's first (and thankfully only) allergic reaction and they went with us to the ER. My mom said that it was very scary to watch. My mom has also admitted to me that before that experience she didn't really take food allergies all that seriously. I have also spoken with others that they too didn't really take food allergies very seriously until they had a family member who has had an allergic reaction or have read an article where a child had actually lost their life because of their severe allergy. I have also over heard conversations where a parent was quite annoyed with the fact that they had to go out of their way to find a treat that was allergy safe to take to their child's class for their child's birthday.

My son's one and only allergic reaction was severe but not life threatening. His entire body was covered in painful, itchy welts, but it did not affect his breathing at all. We gave him Benedryl and within about an hour you couldn't even tell he had a reaction. But his allergist has said that may not be the case every time he has a reaction. I worry about the unknown and if the next time will be life threatening and if who ever is caring for him will know what to do in time to save his life. I would not be able to live with myself if something happened to him because I or someone else was careless or not aware of his allergy.

I worry about the fact that this will be a life long burden for him. Thankfully we have been "training" him to always ask about nuts when someone gives him food, and he is pretty good about it. A little bit of worry is lifted when I find out that he has asked about what is in the food they offer him. Even his little sister asks about nuts because she hears us talking about it so much. And he is pretty good about being okay when he can't have something yummy because it has nuts.

I worry about him being singled out. I am worried that he won't be invited to birthday parties because parents don't want to worry about it. I am worried that he will be made fun of or judged. I am worried that he will get sick of it and just eat a nut to see what happens.

There are so many worries when it comes to your child's health, life and being different.

My son is so not a burden, but there is a burden to bear that comes with his allergy.