friends...

I am so very grateful for friends that understand me, who are concerned for me, and who just love me for who I am.

I found this necklace in my mailbox this last weekend, from a long time friend.

Four hearts: Miracle.Courage.Joy.Love

Just what I needed!

My goal this year....

is to find HOPE,

believe in HOPE,

feel HOPE,

have HOPE!

SMILE...

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky,

you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through

for you.

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear

may be ever so near.

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile.

An anniversary that we don't celebrate...

Fall 2001"Perhaps strength doesn't reside in never being broken- but in the courage required to grow strong in the broken places."
8 years...8 YEARS!

eight years ago we began the fight.

the fight of getting our children here to us.

we didn't know at the time that we were going into the battle of infertility.

and little did we know that 8 years down the road we would still be fighting that fight.

with one battle down,

and hopefully at least a couple more to go.

never did we think we would be doing this for eight years.

never.

but I can honestly say that we are more than happy to be in this fight.

I am proud to know my strength, that “I can do HARD things.”

there are people I know that get life's things handed to them on a silver platter,

that ask for life to be easy for them,

and for some reason Heavenly Father has answered them that prayer.

I know that if I asked in prayer for this to be easy,

I wouldn't get the same answer.

and I am ok with that.

it helps me get through it all knowing that Heavenly Father thinks that I am strong enough,

he knows that I can handle the battle.

he knows that I will get hurt, scarred and bruised, but that I won't back down.

there were/are moments when I felt like I couldn't show my face,

going through this was more than hard (it is still hard sometimes),

I didn't think I could do this.

but I am in the part of the battle where I can stand tall,

face forward,

and be as brave as I can be.

we fought the battle for Mac to get here.

he is here, he is ours...forever!

we love being his Mama and Daddy!

we are now battling to find and get our next little one here.

we called LDS Family Services this week to start the adoption process again.

but I am learning all over again,

just like I did when we started the whole process with Mac,

that I need to trust in the Lord and HIS plan,

and to have myself in a place where I am able to listen to the promptings so we don't miss our opportunity,

so we don't miss crossing paths with our baby's birthfamily.

we are excited to watch closely as Heavenly Father shows and unfolds His plan for us and our family!

MY Life...

life isn't a destination - it's a journey. we all come upon unexpected curves & turning points, mountaintops & valleys. everything that happens to us shapes who we are becoming. and in the adventure of each day, we discover the best in ourselves.

-anonymous.

I loved this quote when I found it! I instantly related because of our adventure in becoming parents.

I have been asked by a friend if I wished I could go back and change the fact that we couldn't have kids. And I knew my answer right away.

NO!

I love the people Hubs and I have become, as INDIVIDUALS and as ETERNAL COMPANIONS. I think we are and will be better PARENTS. We also have the opportunity to feel true COMPASSION and EMPATHY towards those who have gone through similar trials. We can TEACH, HELP and be shoulders to cry on. I feel so much closer to the SAVIOR and I have felt his LOVE every step of the way. We have been blessed with the most amazing MIRACLE of ADOPTION. We have been blessed with Mac!

So NO, I wouldn't change a thing!

As I always say, "Blessings come through trials!"

And I truly have a testimony of that!