Mac Sillies! (October)

These are just some of funny things I wrote down for Mac during the month of October.

Hubs was taking a nap on the couch after church and Mac went and climbed up on him and yelled at him "Daddeee wake up!"

When he is trying to say "really" he says "we" so we here alot, "it's we we we hot!"

He stepped on a carpet tack and told me "owie, want hammer!" I told him to go get his hammer and he took me into our closet and pointed up at the shelf and said "want the hammer". And of course for some odd reason the hammer was just sitting up on the shelf in our closet. I have no idea how he knew it was in there.

When were singing "Teach Me To Walk In The Light" for Mac's bedtime song and Mac sang every single word of it, correctly, with us. We were a little taken back, because he usually just sings the end of each phrase of any song we sing.

He was under the kitchen table and saw some letters underneath it, and said his usual "Mama...LMNOP!" (Which is what he says when he sees words or letters on things). But then he started making the sound for the letter K. So I went and looked at what he was pointing to, and sure enough it was the letter K stamped on the bottom of the table.

He had his finger in his ear and told me "Mama, itchy!" (This one may not sound funny, but I laughed because I had never heard him say that word let alone using it correctly.)When he says elephant it always come out as "elphantant"

The silly kid bites his nails. Which I hate and it is not a good habit, but he won't let us clip them either so I guess as long as they end up short one way or another.

Puddle Jumpin!

We had this giant puddle on the empty lot next to us and it was just calling Mac's name to come and play. Mac was having a blast even though it was freezing outside. He screamed when I grabbed him to go inside, but when we got to our front porch he told me he was cold. When I got his clothes off, his legs and feet were bright red. He got to take a warm bath and then he got his first hot chocolate.

not forgotten...

I have not forgotten about all the posts I have promised for National Adoption Month. I have actually been sick with an awful head cold, and I also completely lost my voice. I have some adoption questions to answer and also Mac's story to finish. It will happen I promise. I just need to get caught up a little with my to do list that got neglected since I got sick.

Birthmothers are amazing...

Meeting "C"!...(Mac's story~Part 5)

Mac's Story Parts 1-4

Meeting and getting to know our Birthmother.

After initially talking to C, I knew that I wanted to meet her as soon as possible. Hubs and I together wouldn't have a chance to meet her together for at least another month. I did not want to wait that long, so I called her the next week to see if we could me up that week for lunch (she only lived an hour away from us). She thought that was great. So the day I headed to meet her, I was completely terrified. But the moment I walked in the door of her work I was completely calm and it felt like I was seeing an old friend that I hadn't seen in a very long time. C walked right up to me and gave me a hug. I seriously thought I was dreaming.

We ended up jumping in her car and heading to her apartment. She really wanted me to watch the ultrasound video that she had for us. We watched it together as she showed me her favorite parts and showed me what I was actually seeing. I was watching our baby that we had waiting so long for. It was incredible to say the least. (You can imagine how many times we watched that video before Mac was born).

We then headed to lunch where we were able to ask each other a lot of questions. This was both awkward and exciting. Awkward because I am socially retarded and my thoughts don't come out of my mouth how I would like them to, and also because I hate to poke and prod at peoples personal lives. And exciting because I was learning more about this amazing young lady sitting in front of me, and I felt so privileged to be chosen by her.

I was able to learn about why C chose adoption for her and her baby. I learned what she wanted and didn't want for her baby. I learned how she came to choose us and that she knew that this baby was not hers and she really felt that Hubs and I were his parents. I was learning a new aspect of the Atonement that I had not yet before seen with my very own eyes. I was awe struck with C's faith, knowledge, and testimony. I was so happy to learn that her parents were very supportive of her, because all Birthmother's need that, and I didn't want C to be alone in this experience.

A couple of weeks later both Hubs and I were able to meet C again so that Hubs could meet her. Hubs said that the instant he saw and met her he knew that she would always be in our lives. And I felt the same way.

We met up several times over the next months. Sometimes both Hubs and I and sometimes just me. But I am ever so grateful for every moment we spent getting to know C and her getting to know us.

ask away!!!

Adoption is a hard concept to understand for most, especially those who have not been involved with it in some way. Actually I still have questions about adoption, which is why it was so wonderful to go to the FSA Adoption Conference this weekend.

So I wanted to give an opportunity to all of my readers to ask away! And over the month I will be answering them for you.

(Feel free to ask anonymously if you would like.)

So ASK AWAY!

Adoption, Advocacy and Awesomeness!

This weekend we are heading to an FSA conference in the Portland area.

FSA stands for Families Supporting Adoption.

I am really excited to go for a couple of reasons:

1. we get learn more about adoption

2. we get to meet others just like us

3. we get our education hours that we need to be approved for adoption

4. and we get to meet this awesome lady

I have been blog friends with Lindsey from the r house for more than two years (before she became a famous adoption advocate). She was kind enough to answer a lot of questions for me when we found out about adopting Mac.

She is an amazing lady,

and an amazing adoption advocate.

Check her Interview here to prove it!

I will try to explain...

First off I want to make sure you all know that I am fine, it really is nothing to worry about. And I want to thank everyone who was and is concerned about me. I love knowing that there are actually people out there who want to make sure that I am OK and who care about me. I also really didn't mean to make anyone concerned, I just was trying to give a brief explanation so people didn't wonder where the heck I was at, especially since I was totally on a roll with updating.

Let me see if I can kind of explain what I think is going on with me. I had been thinking about this break for a couple of days before I announced it. I hadn't really talked to my husband about it, because honestly I didn't really know where all the emotions were coming from and I didn't know exactly what I was feeling. I did however realize that the emotions I was feeling were actually ballooning when I was blogging, or looking at blogs. So I figured that I needed to take a break to figure out exactly what was going on with me. So I sat down with my awesome, wonderful husband, who always knows exactly what to say to me and help me figure out my thoughts when they are all jumbled up. The first thing he told me is that I can't stop blogging, it is our family journal and how we mostly keep in contact with Mac's Birthmother. I assured him that I would not stop updating "C"s blog. Then he started picking at my brain, and we had a long talk (while Mac was taking a long nap). And then I have had a few days to think about it all and this is what I came up with. I am only hoping that it kind of makes sense, I am not that great at putting my thoughts into words.

Adoption is not a "cure" for infertility! It is a cure for childlessness, and a great one at that! When you adopt your children, you don't leave behind the fact that you still can't have children on your own. To be honest I am actually about 90% OK with never being pregnant and not having biological children. But there is still that 10% that still will jump out and make me miserable, that tugs at my heart every time I hear someone is pregnant, that makes me drown a little in my sorrows. And I think that I have been trying to pretend to myself that I don't really feel like that, that I am holding it all together. Because if I didn't, than I fail, I let Satan win, that I am not excepting the road and plan that Heavenly Father has for me. The fact is that it does hurt sometimes, but that doesn't mean that I don't except my life. I love my life, I love that we are one of the lucky ones that get to experience adoption as a means of growing our family. (Those of you who don't get to experience that, you are REALLY missing out!) But still that doesn't take away the fact that we suffer from infertility, and that infertility is really hard to deal with.

Since Mac came into our lives through adoption, I guess I have put most of my emotions on the back burner. Our goal was to be parents, to raise a family, and we finally had that. So I guess I have been ignoring the initial reason that we had Mac in our arms in the first place. As we decided that we would start the adoption process again, the reality of it all hit at once. The stress and unknown that goes with adoption came to the surface. The frustrations of watching everyone else just think about having a baby and bam, they are pregnant. No having to save fore years just so you have barely enough money to pay for the expenses of adoption. No wondering how long it is going to take for some one to make you a mother or father. No worries that that person might change their mind at the last minute. No worries about how long it will take to get your background check done and to have complete strangers know every detail of your life. No having to fill out answers to a million questions and have your home scrutinized to make sure that you are fit parents. It is all very draining and sometimes a little discouraging.

But the essence of adoption is awesome! And we are really excited to do it again. We are excited to watch our family grow through this miracle. We are excited to watch prayers answered, ours, and those of our birthfamily. We are excited to see what kind of relationship we will have with our child's birthfamily. We are excited to hold our new little one, when ever that may be.

We are blessed!

I am not sure if any of that made sense or I explained everything that I am feeling. But it will have to do for now.

November is National Adoption Month and I want to spend the month, when I have the time, devoting my blog to adoption.

I hope to be able to finish Mac's adoption story.

Link you to some awesome articles.

Link you to some awesome people who are waiting to adopt.

Maybe even share a few adoption stories of other adoptive families.

I'll be back soon...

I Hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween!

Isn't our little train conductor just the cutest?!

And on that note...

November is NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH!

And besides the 10 million other things I have going on I am going to try to devote my blog to adoption this month (as if it wasn't already).

So stay tuned for some awesomeness! (Hopefully)