This is NOT a complaining post, I just wanted to let people know since I wasn't really warned.
For some reason NO ONE tells first time parents that three is WAY HARDER than two, until you're in the midst of it. What?! Why are they keeping this a secret?
Someone commented on my friends post when she was talking about this exact thing saying that no one says anything because they block it our of their minds. Probably something close to labor I would imagine. In the moment it is the most painful thing you have ever done but when it is over and you are holding your reward you forget all about it and think, "I can totally do this again!"
(At least that is what I have heard about labor.)
This last year has been quite the ride with our adorable, high energy, intense, red head!
To say the least...it has been H.A.R.D!
There have been days...entire days of one little guy setting in time outs more times than I have fingers to count.
There have been moments where I have had to put myself in time out closing myself behind three doors (my bedroom, bathroom and closet) and set in the corner hiding and praying that I don't go postal or loose my sanity.
There have been many moments where I am looking at my son and think, "Where on earth is my sweet little boy!"
There are days when my patience was so used up that the moment my husband walks in the door from work I say. "He is all yours, I'm done for the day!"
Thankfully, not every single day was like that.
And I learned quickly that I had to remember it was his age and not his character.
I learned to savor the good and great moments and spend those moments giving extra hugs and kisses. And that was mostly for me, not necessarily for him, so that I could remember those moments in the midst of the bad ones.
I also became grateful for other characteristics that Mac has. For instance, he has never been a trouble maker by getting into things when I am not looking.
And one of the very BEST things about this age is the funny things they say.
And three year old logic is really hilarious!
This year I have grown as a Mother. I am no where near perfect or perfect at mothering. But I have learned so much. The greatest thing I learned was that you can't parent alone, you need a greater help than you or your spouse can do individually or together. Pleading to my Heavenly Father through prayer has been my number one source of strength. I daily asked for help at being a better mother and being the mother that Mac and Oak needed me to be. To help me to help them to learn what they need to learn. And that is what really made all the difference.
I really feel like we are coming out of the fog of this last year. Mac has been awesome the last couple of weeks and I have soaked up every ounce of that goodness from him. I notice his cute expressions more, I am hearing more of what he is saying. It has really been heaven.
That is not to say that he/we don't still have bad days...because we totally still do.
But they seem to fewer and far between...and easier to handle.
No matter what this last year has been like, I love this boy every second of every day! He is everything I hoped and prayed for for more than 6 years. He is a miracle, and answered prayer. And the little stud that made me a Mother. His snuggles, loves, smiles, kisses, giggles and everything else about him are worth more than the sands in the sea. He is my treasure and my future. And the shining gem in my crown!
7 comments:
We need to share these intense stretches of our limits so we can support each other through them. Bravo for being honest. We've all been there. And each of my children is different. If I only had my daughter (very pliable, sweet and accomodating) I wouldn't really understand what others are going through. It's important to realize that some children are more intense than others and we shouldn't judge our friends if they are challenged in areas we are not. It isn't their character, it's their circumstances :)
Oh no, don't tell me 3 is harder than 2!! We're not even to 2 yet! Haha.
That is definitely NOT how I feel about labor. I don't ever forget what that feels like.
But I agree on the 3 year old thing. It's HARD!! All babies are little miracles but that doesn't mean they can't drive us crazy sometimes. Easton is 5 and I'm wondering why no one told me that 5 year olds are CRAZY!!
Whenever E goes through one of these phases I get scared that it's the "new him"...but usually and thankfully he snaps out of it and at least gives me a glimpse of the nice boy before he starts his next one.
Your kids are awesome and they're lucky to have you as their mom. You're the best!
Thank you for posting this Brenley. I was feeling really down today because Juliet was being kind of awful yesterday and I did not handle it well. I felt really guilty and like I am a bad mother sometimes, and I really needed to hear this. I know you are an awesome mother and it's nice to know your days don't always go perfect either.
Mothering sure puts forward some of the hardest trials for us to face (or so it seems now at least). I have had this type of year with my oldest, though I hate to tell you, it's was his fourth. Of course every child is different and it seems they are always testing their boundaries and limits. I made a comment to a friend recently that comes to mind...I truly believe that God made them cute for a reason! Seriously, it's all those cute moments that help us get through all the extremely difficult ones. I was prepared to love my child unconditionally, but I was never prepared to hide from them (and yes, I've hidden and cried too). I've wondered what it is that I'm doing so wrong to screw them up so badly. Then I remember, that they are young children. You are so right! We have to remember that and remember that this is all a journey for us all. A journey that so much relies on us to rely on God and the prayer that He commands from us. It is also a journey that truly requires our spouse's participation and I think it's OK to just say "It's your turn!". I've had a few of those moments myself. Even recently, I had to call my husband while grocery shopping to have him talk to my children because I just couldn't do it anymore (and I had no closet to hide in). :) Thank you for sharing your experience and helping to remind all of us that we are not alone. Parenting IS HARD. BUT...I also know, that the rewards are infinite!
I love that you posted this! I feel like either the worst parent in the world, or like I have the naughtiest kid in the world sometimes. I think that if we were all a little bit more honest about what our kids are like and how tough parenting feels sometimes, then we could all feel a little more normal. This post made me feel like there were other moms and kids out there who are going through the same things. Thank you for being so honest!!
Our children sure are blessings and I wouldn't trade the roughest day with them for anything in the world, though!
I think it also depends on the child. My first was definitely much worse in her 3's. However, my second is.... what's a good word? Well let's just say when she has a tantrum I think she's Satan's child, not my own. Haha. She started when we was 18 months and the 2's were bad. She screamed and freaked out if she was upset. HOWEVER, she is much more mature at 3 and way fewer tantrums. So each child is different.
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