Question # 2 answered first...

I am still working on the answer to the first question I was asked, I am almost done with it, promise.

With an open adoption will it be possible for Mac to visit his birthmom on his own? Like when he is 15 and he wants to spend part of the summer with his birthmom. Is that a possibility with an open adoption? How would you address that if it came up?
I am pretty sure that most people do not know exactly what an open adoption is. Part of that is that it is fairly new in the adoption world, and because of that many people are not educated about the subject. Another reason is that an open adoption is unique with every situation so people have a hard time grasping what it actually is when it is really different for everyone.

When we first started our paperwork for adoption in 2006 we were very against open adoption. We thought that it would confuse a child or that we would not feel like the parents. But then as we learned more we decided to educate ourselves on it more and then as we did our hearts opened up to the actually very amazing experience of open adoption. Not long after that we were chosen by our son's Birthmother and the moment we met her, we knew we wanted her to always be in our lives as well as our son's.

Our open adoption and our son's Birthmother's situation is different then most. I don't want to go into details, because that isn't for me to share. But I don't think that Mac visiting his Birthmother on his own for a length of time will ever be a possibility. (Although we will have the privilege of her coming to visit us for a couple of days this coming summer, hopefully). I am sure that C will be married with a family of her own by then, and when that happens I am sure how we handle our open adoption will change a bit, because she has a right to move forward with her life. But if it was a possibility we would look at the whole situation and if it was appropriate emotionally for all involved then we would consider it. But honestly I don't see it happening.

Also, Mac will always know where he came from and he will always know his own personal story. He will always know who he is and who C is, and I think because of this he won't have the curiosity that would probably fuel the idea of wanting to have a long visit with C on his own. We pray everyday that we can raise Mac to love his story but that it doesn't define who he is, it is just a very important part. He is not special because he was adopted, but that he is special because of who he is, and the characteristics and traits that he received from his birthfamily.

We hope and pray that we always have an open relationship with C. I hope that we still get to visit every year. I pray that she will find someone worthy to marry her in the Temple and be very understanding of her past and will be open to us still having a relationship with her and her new family