The paperwork and process...(Mac's Adoption Story~Part 2)

I think every stage of adoption can be compared to a stage of pregnancy, and I would consider this part of our journey to be compared to the "morning sickness" that most pregnant women go through.

We started our paperwork in the Fall of 2006 and turned in all of our paperwork at the very beginning of January 2007. By the end of February 2007 we were approved to adopt and officially waiting for our baby.

Our process of applying to adopt had it's highs and lows, it was exciting, scary and really frustrating. But I am sure it is that way for most couples who are applying for the first time.

The very frustrating parts came from dealing with our caseworker. He was always telling us if we didn't do this or that, or check this box or that that we would never get a baby. Now that is really discouraging, thanks Mr. Caseworker for being so sensitive to our very fragile, childless-hearts. In all of his pushing and shoving and being very insensitive, we made sure we followed our hearts and followed the spirit with every step that was required of us. We were happy and at peace with what we felt was right for our little family. Well, with everything except the prospect of an open adoption.

When it came to learning about open adoption and considering it for our family, I think that our hearts were closed to that possibility being OK for our family. And I really think that it was Satan's way of creeping his way in to try and destroy one of the greatest blessings, forever families.

The scary part was to think that it was totally up to someone else to make us parents. It was scary to think about the possibilities of being chosen, then at the last minute having our baby snatched right out from under us. It was scary to think that if we had an open adoption that maybe we would never really feel like the baby was ours (this is not true, remember we didn't know much about open adoption). It was scary admitting to a lot of people that we struggled with infertility when we had kept it to ourselves for so long. There was a lot that was scary about adopting.

The excitement came when we would think about the possibility of being parents finally. We knew that it would take time, it could be months or even years before we were chosen. But that at times seemed much easier then the wait every month, followed by the usual disappointment that was so constant in our lives over that past five plus years.

To pass the time I would look up the online profiles for adoptive parents on LDSFS website. And more specifically, I would look up those with a child already hoping to read someones story of how they had adopted their baby. I wanted some idea of how it would feel for us when the time came. After we got our own online profile up, I would look at it everyday wondering what birth mother's would think looking at our picture and reading about us. And then my thoughts eventually would wonder if our birth mother would know us when she saw our profile.

At this time, we still did not tell many people. We definitely were not doing all we could do to find our baby. But we did feel a need to pray for all birth mothers. We prayed that they would find peace in their choice and that they may be lead to the right parents for their sweet baby.

After we had been approved and we had been on the waiting list for about a month, we believe Heavenly Father stepped in and was preparing us to find our baby and to answer a sweet young women's prayers.