Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.
So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait.Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"
After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."
"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.
It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.
Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with other who also traveled by sea rather then by air.
People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."
You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.
So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait.Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"
After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."
"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.
It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.
Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with other who also traveled by sea rather then by air.
People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."
You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.
By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column.
8 comments:
THANK YOU.
I hate having to try to explain adoption, and why it can hurt, in terms that other people can understand.
THANK YOU.
One of my favorites. The blog is looking so good! Love your photography.
Wow, that is such a neat way of looking at it. There were times when I thought we might have to go by boat, but I look at my 3 beautiful children and wonder how I was so blessed to be able to fly, when such great people like you have to get there the hard way. But adoption is truly a unique experience, I used to watch adoption stories and cried even though I haven't experienced it, I think it is a wonderful thing.
Amen Brenley! I read this story and then think... I went by 'boat' THREE times. CRAZY! (seriously) But, then again... we are on our boat again, no idea when we will get there... but on the boat nontheless.
Great to visit with you and McCoy (and your parents!) today. He is such a cute little 'taz'. ;o)
Such an interesting way to describe adoption. It is so tough to explain the experience. The emotions you experience along the trip are tough-we want to hurry and adopt again, yet I wonder if I am up for it so soon. And isn't it funny how the hope and wish to go by plane never quite goes away.
Hello Brenley,
This is Amy Biggs Fine (I knew you in Eugene way long ago), anyway, I happened upon your bog page via the Andrus's page and I am sooo glad I did! I am adopted....and feel incredibly inspired by your page! I have a few sets of friends who have been wanting to travel to "Australia", but have been unable to fly there. I am so excited to share your blog page with them along with my story. Hopefully they will be inspired to opt for the boat. Thank you for sharing!
I love this story. I heard it a long time ago, when we started out infertility stuff. Thank you so much for posting it.
Brenley, That is amazing! I LOVE IT! I'm always looking for ways to share the ideas of infertility and adoption with all my "flying" friends. Perfect!
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